In macOS Big Sur you can set an accent color of the app. In XCode you can do that by changing the color in the Assets catalog.
After a lot of research this does not appear to be possible in Xamarin. However it seems that there is a possible workaround which is vaguely documented: https://github.com/xamarin/xamarin-macios/issues/10275#issuecomment-855436269
Did someone manage to use this workaround or knows how to actually do something based on this description?