Unfortunetly, this only works for anything YOU make, but its still something to keep in mind if you use a lot of your own libraries.
One thing I did for any libraries I make is to try to trick intellisense with a #define. In my class declaration in the header file for whatever library I'm making, I surround the whole private part in a #ifdef space, for example
#ifdef MYCLASS_SHOW_PRIVATE_VARIABLES
private:
int hideThisVariable;
float noShow;
void HiddenIncrementFunction();
#endif
Then, in the code section of the class where I need to provide definitions for all the methods, at the top before including the file with the class declarations, I add
#define MYCLASS_SHOW_PRIVATE_VARIABLES
This way, the private members are only visible to the methods you implement for your class in the source file. Any clients using this library would not be able to see the private variables via intellisense, unless of course they happen to define your pre processor directive.