Tidying up this question as there is a lot of different information and progress being made. Originally, the issue was:
flutter run -v
"/Users/sjr/Library/Developer/Xcode/iOS DeviceSupport/13.3.1
(17D50)/Symbols/Developer"
[ +35 ms] (lldb) command script import
"/tmp/1D186BA70/fruitstrap_4c604fe43a334525340e269626a.py"
[ +4 ms] (lldb) command script add -f
fruitstrap_4c604fe43a334525340e269626a.connect_command connect
[ ] (lldb) command script add -s asynchronous -f
fruitstrap_4c604fe43a334525340e269626a.run_command run
[ ] (lldb) command script add -s asynchronous -f
fruitstrap_4c604fe43a334525340e269626a.autoexit_command autoexit
[ ] (lldb) command script add -s asynchronous -f
fruitstrap_4c604fe43a334525340e269626a.safequit_command safequit
[ ] (lldb) connect
[ +52 ms] (lldb) run
[ +277 ms] success
[ ] (lldb) safequit
[ +120 ms] Process 434 detached
[ +48 ms] Application launched on the device. Waiting for observatory port.
[ +4 ms] Checking for advertised Dart observatories...
[+5026 ms] mDNS lookup failed, attempting fallback to reading device log.
[ ] Waiting for observatory port.
And at the same time, in XCode:
io.flutter.204.ui (625): signal SIGABRT
and
Failed to find snapshot: /private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/E00E6D3690/Runner.app/Frameworks/App.framework/flutter_assets/kernel_blob.bin
Hundreds of times until:
../../third_party/dart/runtime/vm/clustered_snapshot.cc: 68: error: Out of memory.
Since then I have followed a lot of advice and different attempts and suggestions for getting this working, but nothing has made any difference so far.
UPDATE:
Last night I found a thread in the flutter forums that suggested this was all caused by iOS 13.3, and that 13.4.1 resolves these issues. Installed this on my device but it made no difference at all to this issue.
I then investigated the path in the error:
/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/E00E6D3690/Runner.app/Frameworks/App.framework/flutter_assets/kernel_blob.bin
And found that in my private/var folder I have no folder called containers at all, so of course it's not going to be able to find it. I am not sure at what point this folder is supposed to become populated with files and data, but perhaps this is the key to the whole mess.
Does anyone know what causes these folders to populate, and why mine might not exist at all?