Currently this problem seems to not have one, universal and straight-forward answer. Maybe because it is not that of an issue?
Your suggestion of choosing the best Q value for legal actions is actually one of the proposed ways to handle this. For policy gradients methods you can achieve similar result by masking the illegal actions and properly scaling up the probabilities of the other actions.
Other approach would be giving negative rewards for choosing an illegal action - or ignoring the choice and not making any change in the environment, returning the same reward as before. For one of my personal experiences (Q Learning method) I've chosen the latter and the agent learned what he has to learn, but he was using the illegal actions as a 'no action' action from time to time. It wasn't really a problem for me, but negative rewards would probably eliminate this behaviour.
As you see, these solutions don't change or differ when the actions are 'overlapping'.
Answering what you've asked in the comments - I don't believe you can train the agent in described conditions without him learning the legal/illegal actions rules. This would need, for example, something like separate networks for each set of legal actions and doesn't sound like the best idea (especially if there are lots of possible legal action sets).
But is the learning of these rules hard?
You have to answer some questions yourself - is the condition, that makes the action illegal, hard to express/articulate? It is, of course, environment-specific, but I would say that it is not that hard to express most of the time and agents just learn them during training. If it is hard, does your environment provide enough information about the state?