IEC 61508-3:2010, Annex A gives the following definitions:
HR: "the technicque or measure is highly recommended for this safety integrity level. If this technicque or measure is not used then the rationale behind not using it should be detailed with reference to Annex C during the safety planning and agreed with the assessor."
R: "the technique or measure is recommended for this safety integrity level as a lower recommendation to a HR recommendation." (sic!)
--: "the technique or measure has no recommendation for or against being used."
- NR: "the technique or measure is positively not recommended for this safety integrity level. If this technique or measure is used then the rationale behind using it should be detailed with reference to Annex C during the safety planning and agreed with the assessor."
The assessor is the representative of the certification authority, so it is really about convincing the certifier.
As far as I know, in theory there is no absolutely mandatory or forbidden rating, but it is quite easy to overload oneself with extra measures necessary to make some untypical, unrecommended strategy convince the certifier, that "HR" is quite close to "mandatory" and "NR" is quite close to "forbidden".
"R" is not as close to "mandatory", but often it is enough to show the certifier that a concept is made that takes into account the detail tables - and to take responsibility (!) that this concept is implementing a reasonable substitute for the "more typical" measure which has not been applied.