Is the table you are loading partitioned? That's the first thing to check, because if you have the default sitesperhost=8 on a single server, and the table is not partitioned, there will be a complete copy of the table in each of the 8 partitions. If the table is partitioned, the data is distributed among the partitions based on the hashing assignment of the values of the partitioning key column.
If it's partitioned and you still can't load all of the data, the next thing to look at would be the schema. There are formulas in the Planning Guide that describe the memory usage for given datatypes and for indexes. The VMC interface also has a sizing worksheet that gives you the mins and maxes based on the schema. You could also post the definition of the table you are trying to load, along with any indexes you have defined on it, and we can explain more about the bytes it would use per row.