Johannes alludes to the solution but doesn't fully answer your questions. He is however correct in that graph theory is a large part of the answer.
Because each child node in server maps of EFnet and IRCnet have only one parent, the shortest path is the only path between two servers on the graph; the same vertice cannot be visited twice without backtracking. This is called a spanning tree, where all nodes are connected, but no loops exist.
IRC is not necessarily unicast like TCP/IP. It communicates with multiple clients on different servers by broadcasting. The important thing to note is that the Client says 'send 'hi' to everyone on #coding', and the message travels from the client to the connected server. That server passes the message to any connected servers, and those servers pass it on to any clients subscribed to #coding and then on to any connected servers.
There isn't really anything like 'client-to-client' communication; one-to-one is accomplished by sending a message to a user with the specified name; not ip address. NickServs help to prevent people from hijacking names, and temporarily associate a nickname with an IP, refusing to authenticate other IP addresses, and protecting the nickname with a password when authentication expires.
In much the same way as sending a channel message, the user sends a message to the server 'send 'hi' to @nicky', and the server simply passes this message on until the client @nicky is listed as a client connected to the server receiving the message. Bots provide a means for @nicky to receive messages when offline; they sign in under the username.
EDIT: IRC actually opens an invite-only personal channel for client-client communications.
Essentially, the shortest path guarantee is a result of IRCs broadcast policy; the moment a message propagates near the desired user's server, it is forwarded to the desired user. Timestamps presumably prevent echoed messages if there are loops in the graph of servers.
In the architecture section, we find evidence that 'spanning tree' is being used in the proper sense. Servers are aware of eachother so as to prevent loops (guarantee shortest paths) and connect efficiently:
6.1 Scalability
It is widely recognized that this protocol does not scale
sufficiently well when used in a large arena. The main problem comes
from the requirement that all servers know about all other servers,
clients and channels and that information regarding them be updated
as soon as it changes.
and this one below is a result of having no alternate paths/detours to take
6.3 Network Congestion
Another problem related to the scalability and reliability issues, as
well as the spanning tree architecture, is that the protocol and
architecture for IRC are extremely vulnerable to network congestions.
IRC networks are designed to be IP agnostic, and follow the shortest path because messages propagate the whole graph, stopping when they reach an endpoint. Clients and servers have enough information to discard duplicate broadcasts. IRC is a very simple, but effective chatting protocol that makes no assumptions about security, IP, or hardware. You could literally use a networked telegraph machine to connect to IRC.