I'm not sure there's any definitive answer to this problem, so the best I can do is to explain how I'd approach this problem, and hopefully you'll be able to get any ideas from my ramblings. :-)
First.
On an unrelated angle, fuzzy string matching might not be enough. People are going to be using similar-looking characters and non-character symbols to get around any text matches, to the point where there's nearly zero match between a blacklisted word and actual text, and yet it's still readable for what it is. So perhaps you will need some normalization of your dictionary and search text, like converting all '0' (zeroes) to 'O' (capital O), '><' to 'X' etc. I believe there are libraries and/or conversion references to that purpose. Non-latin symbols are also a distinct possibility and should be accounted for.
Second.
I don't think you'll be able to differentiate between blacklisted words and similar-looking legal variants in a single pass. So yes, most likely you will have to search for possible blacklisted matches and then check if what you found matches some legal words too. Which means you will need not only the blacklisted dictionary, but a whitelisted dictionary as well. On a more positive note, there's probably no need to normalize the whitelisted dictionary, as people who're writing acceptable text are probably going to write it in acceptable language without any tricks outlined above. Or you could normalize it if you're feeling paranoid. :-)
Third.
However the problem is that matching words/expressions against black and white lists doesn't actually give you a reliable answer. Using your example, a person might write "big butt" as a honest typo which will be obvious in context (or vice versa, write a "big but" intentionally to get a higher match against a whitelisted word, even if context makes it quite obvious what the real meaning is). So you might have to actually check the context in case there are good enough matches against both black and white lists. This is an area I'm not intimately familiar with. It's probably possible to build correlation maps for various words (from both dictionaries) to identify what words are more (or less) frequently used in combination with them, and use them to check your specific example. Using this very paragraph as example, a word "black" could be whitelisted if it's used together with "list" but blacklisted in some other situations.
Fourth.
Even applying all those measures together you might want to leave a certain amount of gray area. That is, unless there's a high enough certainty in either direction, leave the final decision for a human (screening comments/posts for a time, automatically putting them into moderation queue, or whatever else your project dictates).
Fifth.
You might try to dabble in learning algorithms, collecting human input from previous step and using it to automatically fine-tune your algorithm as time goes by.
Hope that helps. :-)
