Officially it is not possible to create two different notifications for wear and the phone without writing your own Android Wear App extension. It is only possible to define a notification that is only shown on the phone with NotificationCompat.Builder.setLocalOnly(true)
To create a Notification that is only shown on a Wear Device however you can (at the moment) add the Notification to a group with NotificationCompat.Builder.setGroup(randomGroupKey) and omit the display of a group summary notification. If a notification belongs to a group it is not displayed on the phone because the phone will only show the summary notification. If there is no summary you get a notification for your watch only. Just generate a random group key for every watch only notification.
Officially it is only possible to create a notification that looks different on a smartwatch.
For this use a WearableExtender. For example this code snippet:
NotificationCompat.Builder builder = new NotificationCompat.Builder(this);
builder.setContentTitle(getString(R.string.smaple_notification_title));
builder.setSmallIcon(R.drawable.ic_message);
builder.setContentIntent(PendingIntent.getActivity(this, 0, new Intent(this, ActivateActivity.class), PendingIntent.FLAG_UPDATE_CURRENT));
NotificationCompat.WearableExtender extender = new NotificationCompat.WearableExtender();
extender.setBackground(BitmapFactory.decodeResource(getResources(), R.drawable.notif_background));
extender.setContentIcon(R.drawable.ic_message);
extender.setHintHideIcon(true);
extender.extend(builder);
builder.setPriority(NotificationCompat.PRIORITY_LOW);
builder.setContentText(notificationText);
builder.setLargeIcon(BitmapFactory.decodeResource(getResources(), R.drawable.large_icon));
notificationManager.notify(messageIndex, builder.build());
Sets a special background for the notification, hides the app icon that is normally displayed on the notification, and adds a new icon to the preview of your Notification in the "screen off" mode of the watch.