Speaking from an XPages perspective:
1 - Understand the dynamics of the working set and hardware
That is, understand what the application code, server runtime, and hardware profile is doing when processing a given working set (ie: the XPages application(s) within the server). Is the application coded in a non-optimal manner in terms of lifecycle execution and memory usage? Is the application making use of memory or disk persistence for component tree serialization? Is the server assigned an adequate amount of JVM memory? Is the hardware providing enough CPU and memory?
2 - Profile and monitor the working set with upper limit loads
To fully answer some of the questions in #1, detailed performance and scalability profiling must be carried out using tools like the XPages Toolbox and Eclipse Memory Analyzer. Furthermore, test the working set using Rational Performance Tester (or some other performance testing tool) to mimic real life concurrent workloads in a test environment. This allows you to set up a test environment where you can hit your application with (n) number of concurrent users using automation and collect that all invaluable data on health etc.
3 - Analyse the profile information to identify bottlenecks within the working set
Remember your working set can be one or more applications. Each doing something different, and having different load requirements. Be specific about the task at hand - do you want to tune the system more generally for all applications (for an average scale) or do you want the server to be fully optimized for a specific application (for a targeted scale)?
4 - Optimize the working set where applicable
Get in and make changes to the XSP / Java / ServerSide JavaScript code where applicable - use your knowledge of the XPages Request Processing Lifecycle and also look out for those hungry JVM memory consumers under high end load scenarios. Always favor disk persistence (disk storage is cheaper than RAM!) and code your custom Java objects and Managed Beans accordingly to cope with serialization and restoration. And make the trade-offs between function and speed in these scenario's where high scalability ends up burning CPU... a smarter UX with targetted functions / actions etc.
5 - Scale the hardware where applicable
Be prepared to increase cores, clock speeds, RAM, disk storage based on the needs of the working set - a cyclic approach to profiling, monitoring, and optimizing the working set will shed more and more light on the suitability of the hardware as this process evolves.
5 - Repeat from #2 until the working set and hardware performs and scales to the expected requirements / load expectancy of the system