So like @Ken Cochrane said there is no nginx in the Node service and it is not needed.
And you probably don't want it, if you have static content that you really want to deliver with nginx rather that through Node you could add a static service for that.
The load balancing is done by our gateways that redirect your traffic to the different instances or your scaled service. This is if you have scaled your service.
Node.js scale perfectly as long as your App is design to scale. Scaling it no magic, if you are carefully making sure your session are shared in a cache or a db for example. If loosing one instance is not a problem because nothing is save in memory in the Node services and if you handle db reconnections then you are likely going to scale very well.
How much mongoDB uses is impossible to say this depends totally on your app. We have huge mongoDB from people doing crawlers to simple one which are note using that much ram. It depends on the success of our app although. This is really hard to stay. But you are probably not going to hit 1G for some time.
Regarding Node. You do not want to store anything in memory, because it is not shared between your instances. So unless you are doing something very particular your Node instances should not use much memory. 256MB should be fine for a regular app or even less.