Are there any HOTWO's or books that go over real world, best practices, on setting up a computer like unix hosting companies do?
3 Answers
That is a loaded question if I ever saw one.
But, in a nutshell, most just install a web hosting control panel like cPanel, and call it a day. And I am sure it has "best practices" chapter where they recommend the best settings for the server. I could be wrong on the second part, though, but it only makes sense.
Some other control panels:
- zPanel
- Plesk
Of course VPS systems:
- VMWare Server
- Microsoft Virtual Server
I'll let my peers fill in the blanks.

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Practices vary between hosting companies. No two I've worked for do it even vaguely the same. Your best bet is to find someone who works at a hosting company and buy them beers.

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They all have their own, but for a quick down and dirty i would suggest you look at http://www.howtoforge.com/instaling_ehcp_on_debian_ubuntu . there are several other ones on that site as well