Going to keep this short:
Got a new server
We decided to update IPMI for reasons. I know - it's stupid without good reasons.
Waited for it to reboot. On reboot it no longer is assigned an IP Address from the DHCP router, and setting a static IP through the BIOS doesn't help at all.
This is the motherboard I have: http://www.supermicro.com/products/motherboard/QPI/5500/X8DTL-3F.cfm
We used the latest IPMI update download from the IPMI link on SuperMirco's webpage linked above.
I have installed an additional matching Xeon and 24GB of RAM as well as a 128GB SSD, but other than that have not done anything else with it.